Movie Review: Rock of Ages

Just like the stage show, the motion picture “Rock of Ages” aims to please (with popular ’80s rock songs) and generally offend (in nearly every other way). The pure ridiculousness of it all translates mounds better on stage than on film, but that’s not to say the move is a bore. It’s actually loads of fun.

Let’s break down the best and the worst “Rock of Ages” has to offer.

BEST

• Catherine Zeta-Jones. She should sing and dance in every film. Her role was written just for the screen (the writers reworked the hippie protester Regina into the mayor’s wife character).
• Julianne Hough’s fabulous boots. After sporting some sweet red ones in the remake of “Footloose” she has transitioned to studded black ones.
  

  The boots

• “Here I Go Again.” None of the numbers really stood out to me dancewise, save for this one. It included the entire cast in their different states of life, and some slick moves at the Venus Club.
• Russell Brand. He may not be popular, but he’s still good for a laugh in the role of Lonny, the business partner of Bourbon Room owner, Dennis (Alec Baldwin). Brand plays well off Baldwin’s one-note performance.
• Debbie Gibson cameo! I’m not going to tell you where. Just look for her.

WORST

• The Tom Cruise slow walk show. For the first half of the movie, there is too much focus on Cruise’s drink-drowning rock star, Stacee Jaxx. A lot of screen time is wasted on watching Cruise wander around at the pace of a snail, and he talks about as fast. I wish fewer frames were dedicated to him.
• This camera shot:
  

  The money shot

  Somebody is real proud of this. It’s in the trailers, the film and the credits. I liked it the first time, but once is enough!

Obviously the good outweigh the bad. “Rock of Ages” is entertaining and a good two-hour escape from 2012. But if it weren’t for all the big name stars, this would just be a quality TV movie.

Filed under: Entertainment, Hollywood, Movies, Music, Musical, 1980s, Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Footloose, Here I Go Again, Julianne Hough, Rock of Ages, Russell Brand, Tom Cruise, Whitesnake